this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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[–] ynthrepic@lemmy.world 51 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 child)

A lot of committed vegans I know don't sweat over it if mistakes are made on the "vegan" menu. They advise the staff politely, discarding what they can by hand and eating that they can't. Wasting a meal makes a mockery of the point of being a vegan in many ways.

This teenager possibly gets it. Dad is intentionally overdoing it. There is a lot we can learn about how to do better politics here. Perfection is the enemy of the good.

Edit: Obviously allergies and diseases are a whole other thing. There is a reason getting it right is still very important, but if that's the case nobody is messing around, especially not Dad.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 16 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

My wife has a milk allergy. Depending on the ingredient, it can go pretty bad. If they put regular cream in something, she might need to use her EpiPen.

There's no grumbling or clarification that works. The server will almost always write down no milk, no cheese. Half the time, the kitchen will forget, mix up, or ignore it; sometimes, the server grabs the wrong thing from the warmer.

[–] ynthrepic@lemmy.world 1 point 1 hour ago

Oh I certainly agree there are people for whom it's serious. That's not this meme.

[–] moobythegoldensock@infosec.pub 5 points 7 hours ago (1 child)

I have a milk allergy as well. I know her pain.

My I recommend getting into Asian food and trying vegan restaurants? Way less potential for accidents.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 4 points 6 hours ago

Oh we've been dealing with it for a long time now :)

She does a lot of vegan places when she can, when she can't she tries to pick stuff that's unmistakable.

For the most part it's mexican food and subs where she gets screwed, it can be hard to tell crema from mayo and cheese from mayo

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

Without knowing your location many if not most restaurants in US will only allow allergy meals be delivered by a manager. When I worked Buffalo Wild Nuggets the manager would have to prepare and deliver the allergy meal. It keeps the customers more honest when it isn't just a server taking the blame.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 hours ago

Yeah, US, It's super rare for her to be taken seriously. I don't think we've had a manager come out for an allergy in 8 years now and that was vacation at Disney.

More often, if they try, they'll send the waitstaff back out to complain that she can't have the meal because there are eggs in this or that when she was clear about it being milk, they want to tie it into dairy and for some unknown reason, eggs are considered dairy.

[–] doug@lemmy.today 32 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

I remember hearing a dunk on vegans a while back that went “how do you know someone’s vegan? they’ll tell you.”

but in my experience it’s more like “how do you know someone hates vegans? they’ll tell you.”

[–] TheMinions@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 7 hours ago (1 child)

Of course vegans will tell you, it’s a dietary restriction.

If you’re even halfway intimate with someone, you’ll likely share a meal or cook for them.

I’m not even vegan, but this particular phrase annoys me hahaha.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 11 points 6 hours ago (1 child)

Its a catch all punch down cliche for anything where people are trying to improve themselves or the world around them. See crossfit or Linux as other major examples. Its often that they see someone being passionate about something and mocking them for it.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 point 5 hours ago (1 child)

You think linux people DON'T mock others for using windows? Normally in this situation I'd advise you to go use Lemmy for an hour, but...well....here we are, and you still hold that view.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

The example is that people mock Linux users with the phrase "How do you know someone uses Linux? Don't worry, they'll tell you!"

That says nothing about how Linux users treat others, only how they are used as fodder for people with low self-esteem.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 3 points 7 hours ago

Yes that seemed to be a big thing cca 10 years ago

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 19 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

Vegans aren't a problem. Why would you care about what another person chooses not to eat?

Holier-than-thou vegans with pamphlet level arguments they force upon everybody are a problem.

Thankfully there aren't too many of those around. Less than Jehova's Witnesses, at least.

It does seem like America in particular has a cult of people hating on vegans, and I gotta ask; why do you think you're better than them, if you're expressing the same attitude as the worst kinds of vegans?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 19 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

A lot of the vegan haters are uncomfortable with the moral issues with meat consumption and rather than seriously work through their feelings and try to figure out where they stand they just mock those who make them uncomfortable and conflate them to the most annoying of the group.

Very similar to people who haven't worked out their religious trauma hating on even decent religious folks

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (2 children)

moral issues with meat consumption

Why do you assume omnivores have any "moral issues with meat"? Your comment implies that vegan diet is somehow morally supreme, which is an utter rubbish. It is a dietary choice, the same as eating bread or not.

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago

They seem to imply that in their experience omnivores do indeed have such moral qualms with eating meat. That does not mean that they think that is objectively the case or the case for everyone.

[–] ageedizzle@piefed.ca 7 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

Why do you assume omnivores have any "moral issues with meat"?

Would you have moral issues with factory farming and then slaughtering dogs and cats? If so, then you have moral issues with meat. For vegans, these issues persist regardless of the species, whereas most other people make arbitrary distinctions between which species they care about and which species they don’t

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 1 point 2 hours ago (1 child)

I love this description of morality, but am curious about your opinion on the arbitrary decisions comment: do you feel that cultural tuning (often underpinned by cultural heritage and available food options) is an invalid way to select "acceptable" meats? No judgement, your comment just got me thinking

[–] ageedizzle@piefed.ca 1 point 22 minutes ago

I think in general culture is a pretty poor way to determine what behaviours are morally acceptable. Moral progress is often a matter of overcoming the moral defects of our cultural heritage.

For example the idea that women should be subordinate to men is/was very deeply engrained in Western culture for a very, very long time. But that’s not an argument against gender equality. It is, instead, an argument for improving our culture. So anyone who said “hey, we can’t have gender equality because it goes against our cultural heritage” would be missing the mark. Sure, it might go against our cultural heritage, but so what? We must change our culture to match morality, not ignore morality to preserve our culture.

And its not just our culture that falls into this trap, other cultures can be deeply flawed too. For example, in some cultures female genital mutilation and child marriage are the norm. Does that mean these behaviours are okay, simply because they are culturally accepted? Clearly not. Human rights are universal. If these behaviours were human rights violations in, say, Denmark, then they do not cease to be human rights violations just because they are taking place in a different country with different cultural attitudes.

Now regarding our attitudes to animals, it is true that there is a lot of cultural variation in which animals are acceptable to eat. In India, eating a cow would be largely be seen as disgusting and disrespectful. In Canada, for example, eating a dog would be an outrage, but in some Asian nations this is not the case.

Is this because the value of the individual animals lives shifts from culture to culture? Or is it because the pain these animals experience differs from country to country (does getting your throat slit hurt less for dogs in South Korea than dogs in Canada)? The answers to these questions are no and no. The only differences going on here is culture, and nothing more. These different cultural attitudes do not track any relevant moral differences; they are merely accidents of history.

It is no different than how different regions tend to be racist towards different groups. For example, in the US (to oversimplify a bit) the primary target of racism has been Black people, whereas in China the primary target of racism has the Uyghurs. Is this because racism against Black people is okay in the US (but not in China) and conversely because racism against the Uyghurs is okay in China (but not the US)? No, it’s not. The Americans primarily focus their racism against one group due to circumstances of history, and the Chinese primarily focus their racism against another group due to the circumstances of their history. But that’s all that’s going on. There are no relevant moral differences here, just differences in history and culture. Because in all circumstances, and in all countries, racism directed at any one of any group is morally indefensible.

It’s similar with animals. Causing significant unnecessary suffering to a being who does not want to suffer is morally indefensible. It does not matter who the being that suffers is. It does not matter if that being is a dog, cat, pig, chicken or human. If that being does not want to suffer, and there is no strong overriding reason as to why they ought suffer, then we have no morally defensible reason for causing them to suffer. Culture does not change that.

So, since farming and slaughtering animals with industrial efficiency causes animals significant suffering, the compassionate thing to do is to simply not partake in that system. And in order to not participate in this system one must have a vegan diet.

If you’re interested in this line of reasoning then I recommend checking out the paper All Animals Are Equal by Peter Singer. It gets into the ethics behind veganism with much more detail and clarity than I can provide here.

Thank you for your question, I hope you found this response helpful.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 0 points 3 hours ago

Well, at least we can agree on the distinction being arbitrary.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world -3 points 5 hours ago (1 child)

And, there you go, as per the original comment above: "Holier-than-thou vegans with pamphlet level arguments they force upon everybody are a problem."

🙄

You are only "more moral" on the same level as Jehova Witnesses are somehow "more moral" than other religions.

[–] ageedizzle@piefed.ca 7 points 5 hours ago (1 child)

I was literally just answering your question

[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 27 points 9 hours ago

Sounds like Dad's heart is in the right place.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 7 hours ago

That girl has to shut up about her veganism no one cares but she constantly brings it up. /s

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 8 points 8 hours ago

The one time it's completely appropriate to tell people you are vegan is when they ask what you want to eat...

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 11 points 9 hours ago

Sounds more like a teenager problem than a vegan problem

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 7 hours ago

Hahaha, my parents do this too. I don't get what perverse satisfaction they get from it

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 point 5 hours ago (1 child)

Is dad being an asshole? Or is dad being a dad and intentionally embarassing her?

His face and volume suggest asshole, like he's actually causing a scene.

But I could see this as having been a much less loud/angry encounter, with dad basically giving his daughter shit by being as dramatic as she is at home. And this whole encounter is being told through the daughters perspective, who inflated the scene/comic.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 hours ago

My take is that he's being well-meaning but overbearing, based on the "it's really important to her" comment.

[–] rImITywR@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

I forgot that dragon roll is a real thing for a second, and thought that the joke was implying eating dragon is vegan.

Also, doesn't a dragon roll usually have shrimp in it?

[–] YaksDC@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago

Every dragon roll I have ever had has had lobster and at least one other fish in it. No cheese 🤮

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 1 point 6 hours ago (1 child)

In my experience it's eel that's the 'dragon'. Although one place around here has fucking chicken in it.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 hours ago

I guess that if dragons are related to dinosaurs chicken is about as close as you can get.